Wow! Another semester down and let's hope I can graduate soon. Try'n not to let other things bother me about trying to get an education. Like how addicted I am to good grades now when to everyone else that sort of talk is trivial. I taint their kid, bol! No, but contending with the old guilt is a rough balls along with the way the world is going now. Guilt of what? That I should have just never moved from where I was born? My mom dying and her not wanting me to talk to my brother? There is a lot I am learning about my mother's behaviors through this new therapist. She really gets to the point. Like I had to ask about all the weird little lies she planted on us. The odd ones that seemed to cause some drama and arguments. Because the information isn't really all that unimportant and has caused some issues with me in my life. Maybe I will come back later and talk about this but it has been more enlightening to know why these weird seemingly little lies have caused some pain in my life. It is even harder to explain, too, so why do I even bother. "Nobody wants to hear that shit" right? It's good to write some of it out here instead of bogging people in my life down about it. I just hope no one is really reading this crap. I mean it says some people have, which is odd. I did put the adult warning on it. I guess if I really wanted privacy I could write a .doc right? Why do I need to write this out even? Why not find another outlet? All these thoughts and more later on fart tv.
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