What the fuck have I been doing? Well, I got sober for 1! BOL! And boy, has my brain had a hard time adjusting. I just looked at my 'about me' and quite a bit has changed. I have not been delving in the arts as much as I have been the sciences now. Blame it on me wanting some power over my childhood or something like that. I have been getting therapy for my depression and anxiety. It is really hard for me to be around people sober, but I do it. I just always prepare myself for the worst because I seem to attract drama. I am just keep telling myself to prepare myself for people to want to say mean things to make me uncomfortable. I think instead of freezing next time I could try wiggling and jerking about with my discomfort to make everyone else as uncomfortable as me? Nah...I don't really have control over what I do when the anxiety monster strikes anyways. I wish I would burst out in uncontrollable laughter sometimes. I think sometimes I have.
Anyways, that's enough about that. What about these drawings here? Had to post my drawing of camp as much as I could remember. A place I lived and loved as a child and not necessarily because of the people. I know, what a jerk I am, huh? But there's a reason for that...because most people did not like me. Why? I don't really know actually, but when I was a kid I thought I was bad because no one really liked me so I spent large amounts of time in the woods away from people. People were always fighting and wanting to beat me up it seemed. Thinking back on it all as an adult I know really what it was...I was poor...the dirty kid. The kid who liked to play in the dirt and not take showers. I guess the booze really did its work to help keep some of this crap at bay til it couldn't anymore. Speaking of crap- I went ahead and looked through an old sketchbook the other day and had to grab an old BRM ad to put up somewhere. Might as well be here. I need to come back to posting here. Where I can complain about anything I want and maybe be less fckd with here than the other social media platforms. Part of my brain issues, I guess. Hey, I haven't even written about my college journey here, yet. Boy! O BOY! I really can't believe I am a geography major with a biology minor! What am I thinking? Well, when I get down on myself now or when I am out with ppl who slide in those insults I just think....well, at least I am mostly a straight A student as of right now. Uh-o- let's hope I didn't jinx myself. I am getting worn down from it and people have been so weird since I have made this choice, but it IS quite an experience I am liking! More than I thought! And since not a whole lot of people in my friend group is all that into nature- I will be coming here to post about it more, I think. Alright- that's enough for now.
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